Your letter of wishes:
six things your trustees
will want to know

What a letter of wishes actually does

Your Will or trust document sets out the rules: who can benefit, what powers the trustees have and any rights people are entitled to.

Your letter of wishes adds the personal context. It might explain that you want your children to have help getting established, that your partner's security is particularly important, or that one family member may need more support than another.

This is especially useful with a discretionary trust, where trustees can decide who receives money, how much and when. Rather than leaving them to guess, you give them a clearer understanding of what matters to you.

Do the trustees have to follow it?

They must consider your wishes, but they are not legally bound to follow them. They still need to make their own decisions, follow the trust's rules and meet their responsibilities.

That flexibility matters. A letter written when your children are teenagers may be needed when they are in their thirties, with lives you could not have predicted.

Six things worth thinking about

You do not need to write about everything. The most useful letters explain your main priorities and give enough detail to help the trustees understand them.

1. Who you would like them to put first

Within the trust's rules, you can explain whose needs you hope will be the main priority.

Perhaps you want your surviving partner to be comfortable throughout their lifetime, with your children benefiting later. Or you may see the trust primarily as support for your children, with grandchildren considered as their needs develop.

Explain the thinking behind that preference. It helps trustees understand the bigger picture.

2. The things you would like the trust to pay for

"Look after my children" is understandable, but it leaves quite a lot open to interpretation. You could be more specific about the kinds of help you would welcome:

• University, an apprenticeship or other training
• Driving lessons or transport needed for work
• A deposit on a first home
• Healthcare, counselling or additional support
• Reasonable living costs during a difficult period
• Hobbies, activities and experiences while children are growing up

These are possibilities for trustees to consider, where the trust allows, rather than promises that every request will be agreed.

3. Support for the people raising your children

If someone would be bringing up your children, you can explain that you would like the trust to help with the reasonable costs of doing so.

That might include school expenses, holidays or changes needed to make their home suitable. It can reassure trustees that you intended the money to support your children's everyday lives, rather than sit untouched until adulthood.

4. How you feel about larger payments

You might be comfortable with help towards a home, but less comfortable with a large payment simply because someone asks for it.

Where trustees have discretion, you can explain whether you would prefer gradual support, payments for particular purposes or a larger sum when someone is ready to manage it.

You can also say that you would like them to consider the person's circumstances at the time, rather than assume that reaching a birthday means they are ready.

5. Anything your trustees should understand

A family member might have a disability, struggle with money or need ongoing help with daily life. Someone may receive benefits that could be affected by a payment.

You can explain what support works well and ask trustees to take suitable advice before making decisions.

Keep this kind and factual. The aim is to help someone, and the letter may one day be read by people other than your trustees.

6. What you mean by fair

You might want your children to benefit equally overall. Or you might feel that fairness means helping each person according to their needs.

Perhaps one has already received a substantial gift towards a home. Should that be taken into account later? Would you want the trustees to keep things broadly equal, or avoid keeping a running total?

There is no single answer for every family. What helps is explaining yours.

"I wouldn't know where to start"

Start with this question: if your trustees were sitting across the table from you, what would you want them to understand? You might write:

That gives the trustees a useful sense of direction without trying to plan every decision in advance.

Short paragraphs or bullet points are fine. You do not need formal language, and you do not need to justify every family decision.

Can I change my mind?

Yes. A letter of wishes can usually be updated without changing the Will or trust, provided you are changing your guidance rather than the legal arrangements.

It is worth looking at it again after a birth, marriage, separation or significant change in someone's health or circumstances.

Sign and date the latest version, make clear that it replaces the earlier one and keep it with your Will or trust documents. Your trustees should know that it exists and where to find it.

If you want to change who can benefit or when someone becomes entitled to money, speak to us. That may require a change to the legal documents.